For The Bible Tells Me So

I was really excited that the students and faculty started a GSA after the Indy article came out. I was even more excited that they listed it on the calendar; it will be interesting to see what results from that.

Unfortunately, the censorship continued this summer. The faculty wanted to show For The Bible Tells Me So, a documentary that looks at the dialogue between homosexuality and religion. The reason given was that there were better choices and because it didn't portray both sides well enough. I'm not sure what the missing side was, but I always think that's the default excuse that holds no water.

It isn't the job of GS to show all sides of any issue. It is the job of GS to present contemporary work in academic areas. When we would talk about global warming, students would often accuse the program of not showing "both sides" (as if there were only two positions on the topic). I would point out we give them access to CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, and other cable channels. We gave them the New York Times each morning. They had access to the internet. What did they feel like we were hiding from them? And mostly, that statement meant we weren't telling them what they wanted to believe; we were in someway challenging their beliefs.

I haven't written here for awhile because I've been trying to take a break from resisting ADF and DPI. It was hard all summer and strangely got harder when GS ended. But classes are back in session and I am feeling ready again. But I'm also going to try to do a better job of saying how and why this process has been really painful, as well as being able to say when it is now.

Thanks to everyone who asked how I was or talked to me about what this fight meant to them personally or said nice things. That all really helped and I'm going to try to be better about thanking folks for that and asking for it when I need it. It makes me feel much less alone.

Me

One thing i haven't talked about is the effect DPI decisions have had on me, personally. There's a couple reasons for that; I am really worried about GS and its existence and I am really worried about students and future students. It is dangerous to send a message to these students that there is something wrong with them if they want to be reflective about their sex, gender, or desire.

But getting fired is also been detrimental to me. That's important too. The decisions that Tom, Mary, and Michael make don't just harm some hypothetical future student. They did and are doing real harm to me, right now, in a real way.

First of all, getting fired somehow indicates that i did something wrong. Tom has sent emails to people who have contacted him (and said in other situations) that they don't know all the facts of the story, as if there is some crime i committed that, if they knew, would make them agree that I should have been fired. This is a lazy and cruel strategy often taken against queers. Put forth some vague suggestion of impropriety and let people draw their own conclusions.

Michael told the students that I didn't get fired for being queer or for calling homophobia homophobia. I understand he feels contractually obligated to say this, but it also indicates that I did get fired for some real reason.

I didn't. I got fired because a homophobic group in Arizona wants there to be nothing resembling homosexuality on our curriculum, because the administration of GS decided to acquiesce to that instead of stand up and fight, and because I insisted on labelling those actions as homophobic. Lots of other faculty did too, but they aren't queer or can't be identified as queer in a simple Google search. Until DPI starts admitting that, they are doing harm to me every time Michael, Tom, or Mary tries to act like it is something else.

Secondly, i don't get to teach at Governor's School any more. Being at GSE was a great pedagogical and artistic inspiration to me. Being around my colleagues and the students made me a better teacher and writer. DPI has removed me from that community against my will and for no good reason. That actively hurts me as a teacher and writer.

The third thing it does is send a clear message to me that I am deficient in some way. Not only was I fired, but DPI had no intention of ever talking to me about it at all. I understand why- they had to make up ridiculous reasons for firing me and then Tom has to look like an idiot when they trot him out to repeat them. But not even having the integrity to talk to me, to tell me the truth, indicates a real lack of respect on DPI's fault. The truth is, Tom should have been down on his knees, begging me to come back and to forgive them.

Finally, it is insulting to insinuate that I do not recognize homophobia when I see it. I've been queer and out for a long time now. I've taught gay and lesbian, queer, and sexuality studies for a long time now. I've been a victim of homophobia and homophobic violence before. What, in the long and storied personal lives and careers of Tom Watson, Mary Winton, and Michael McElreath indicates that they would be better at recognizing homophobia or its lack better than I? What leads them to believe that they will be better off fighting a homophobic group without me than they were with me?

Tom, Mary, and Michael are actively hurting and oppressing students,alumni and the institution of GS. That is important. But they are also actively hurting me for no reason then their own convenience. And that's important to say as well.

Let's see if any of them are brave enough to stop and to start telling the truth.

A Legal Take

here is a legal take on the ADF's bullying and DPI's responding. comes from a blog called the eclectic hedonist.

http://eclectichedonist.wordpress.com/2008/07/10/north-carolina-governors-school-under-attack-by-arizonan-special-interest-group/

GSE GSA Talk

i enjoyed talking to the GSA at GSE yesterday. They had a lot of good questions about how to start their own GSA's at their high schools, what their legal rights were as high school students, what troubles they should anticipate, what the real story is about what happened last summer (GSE hadn't talked to them about the other members that were fired for example), what they could do to support GS, whether it was better to take on the ADF or DPI, and some questions about sexuality theory.

they were interested, kind kids and it left me sad and once again surprised that DPI can't just be honest with the faculty and students at GSE. these were kids who quickly got what was going on and why not allowing the ADF to affect the GS curriculum was important. why in the world is DPI and GSE not telling them the whole story? (i understand why the faculty can't, but certainly michael could lay out the situation for them)

i'll say again that the faculty, students, and alumni are GS's greatest strength and as long as the administration of GS keeps lying to them and withholding information from them, they will never be ready to take on the ADF. GS desperately needs leadership right now and it's not fair to ask the faculty and students to provide that leadership- that's the job of Tom Winton, Mary Watson, and Michael McElreath. Someone needs to love GS more than they love their position at GS.

GSE GSA

I'm going to speak on Monday to the GSE GSA. I'm looking forward to hearing the students' questions and just hearing about where they are at with everything. I'm also very proud that GSE has put the GSA on the public calendar. I'll be interested to see what comes from that step, but I would also say that step fills me with pride and hope as well.

I'll also be interested to hear about the process of having me as a speaker. I know there was some concern but I don't know what level that was at- faculty, admin or above. I plan to be respectful, responsible, and honest. I feel some security knowing they can't fire me twice. However I did find out that my dean at the college got a note from above him about my presence in the Indy article. May be time to start passing on faculty openings you know about, although I hope not. I enjoy the students at VGCC a lot and would hate to lose them, just as I hated to lose the GSE ones.

I'll try to give an overview of the talk- it will be at 4pm in the chapel on the Meredith campus.

Oh and my response when I sent Marcy a note, asking why the sudden interest in GS now by the N and O? I'll quote in full- "thanks, tanya." Not sure if that means "i didn't read your email" or "yes you are exactly right" or "please leave me alone you crackpot."

N and O Request

I'm really not a conspiracy theorist, but the timing of the News and Observer's request for GS memories seems suspicious as best. According to its own records, the N and O has written exactly zero (0) articles about GS since 2004. But the week after the Indy prints its article about questioning why the ADF should be censoring the curriculum of GS, a NC public school program funded with state money, the N and O puts out a call for your best GS memories? Hmmm.

In its patheticness, it strikes me exactly as something DPI and Exceptional Children would do to attempt to "combat" the "negative" publicity. Answer the charges? Allow faculty and students to talk to reporters? No. But launch a "counter" sunshine and roses campaign. Yeah. That sounds about right.

Hey, I have long argued that NC should be proud of GS- it's an amazing program that is as pedagogically progressive and sound as I've seen and been a part of (until its administrators started censoring curriculum according to the wishes of right-wing, homophobic, christian groups). But now? Smells rotten to me.

I sent an email to Marcy Smith asking her if the N and O were doing this at the bequest of DPI to counter the bad publicity which it got, as well as if the N and O were looking into the question of the ADF setting curriculum for NC public schools. I would urge you to ask the same.

i love GS. i will always love what GS stands for in its documentation and in many of its years of practice. but now does not seem the time to be burying GS in praise. it seems time to be asking hard hard questions of an administration that is not only remaining quiet, but demanding that its faculty remain quiet.

http://www.newsobserver.com/105/story/1136688.html

Jesse Helms died on Friday. No one wants to celebrate the death of any human being. And yet as a North Carolinian, I hate to see the deification of Helms that's occuring. He was a man who was driven by hate. He was given many opportunities to divorce himself from that hate, to find another defining force in his life, and he turned his back on each and every one of those chances. That's hard to find admirable in any sense.

Here is a link to the obituary from the Guardian. I like the way it gives Helms "credit" for all the hate he fostered, nurtured, and carried around his whole life.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/jul/04/usa

Helms was certainly one of the people that made groups like the ADF possible, in multiple ways.

I think every human being is capable of change and should be given room for redemption. I hope that fighting for GS can help members of the ADF redeem themselves, find it possible to live a life that isn't defined by fear and anger. But some folks are too frightened to step away from what they know, what they were told to believe, what they choose to believe. It's why places like GS are so important- the world needs more models of how to talk about difficult issues respectfully and responsibly instead of bullying and tricking people into embracing the exact world view you want them to have.

I hope some members of the ADF and the North Carolina Family Council will take advantage of this opportunity and do what Helms never could; let go of the hate.